Tag Archives: funny

“Russia is big and so is China”

This poem is funny and odd. It reads like sentence fragments stuck together. It can be frustrating to try and grasp meaning from. For a bit you might think the poet is trying to bridge ideas and create balance or has been collecting statements from overheard conversations. Is this what an expanded conversation in tweeting is like? In the end it truly makes as much sense as some of our politicians, so the beginning (and the rest of it) is quite apt and contemporary.

“Russia is big and so is China”                                                           Steve Fellner

overheard statement from President Bush at summit with Chinese President Hu Jintao

Monopoly is fun and so is strip poker.

The weather is nice and so is this iced tea.

Porcupine quills are sharp and so is that pair of scissors.  Be careful, ok?

The baby across the aisle from you is loud and so is some rap music.

The GED was hard and so was bungee jumping.

Pink is a color and so is salmon.  Salmon is also a fish.

Bruce Willis is still hot and so is Kurt Cobain, though he’s dead.

Stoplights are annoying and so are brussel sprouts.

Vitamin C is good for you and so is exercise.

I could stand to lose ten pounds and so could you.

I am lazy and you don’t have anywhere else to be.

North Korea is fidgety and so is my little sister.  No Ritalin for her.

I am horny and so are most of my dumb friends.

Seven is more than three and so is eight.

The news is strange and so is my hairdresser.

Model airplanes are frustrating and so are summits.

Poisoned Halloween candy is creepy and so is Anthrax.

Used dental floss is icky and so are missiles.

Nuclear weapons are large and so is my penis.

Metaphors are always obvious and so is common sense.

Wisdom is cheap and so is bus fare.

Solar energy is easy and so is my ex-boyfriend Nick.

Armageddon is a bummer and so is Picasso.

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Hate Hotel

This poem is fun unless you hate it! Some people find it disturbing, others funny. I like any poem that is great for discussion and this one is. Make sure you share it. I relate to the emotions in the poem and enjoyed the images. The militaristic view is masculine and very relevant to our current world. I love the last stanza, it awoke my heart.

Hate Hotel                                                                              Tony Hoagland

Sometimes I like to think about the people I hate.

I take my room at the Hate Hotel, and I sit and flip

through the heavy pages of the photographs,

the rogue’s gallery of the faces I loathe.

My lamp of resentment sputters twice, then comes on strong,

filling the room with its red light.

That’s how hate works—it thrills you and kills you

with its deep heat. Sometimes I like to sit and soak

in the Jacuzzi of my hate, hatching my plots

like a general running his hands over a military map—

and my bombers have been sent out

over the dwellings of my foes,

and are releasing their cargo of ill will

on the targets below, the hate bombs falling in silence

into the lives of the hate-

recipients. From the high window of my office

in the Government of Hate,

where I stay up late, working hard,

where I make no bargains, entertain no

scenarios of reconciliation,

I watch the hot flowers flare up all across

the city, the state, the continent—

I sip my soft drink of hate on the rocks

and let the punishment go on unstopped,

—again and again I let hate

get pregnant and give birth

to hate which gets pregnant

and gives birth again—

and only after I feel that hate

has trampled the land, burned it down

to some kingdom come of cautery and ash.

Only after it has waxed and waned and waxed all night

only then can I let hate

creep back in the door. Curl up at my feet

and sleep. Little pussycat hate. Home sweet hate.